Are there missing settings?

[DrGeoffrey]

The settings you seek are there, but they are a bit buried. And given how infrequently these specific settings need to be changed, buried is probably not a bad choice.

To accomplish what you seek you need to change the point size of the title bar font (which is not buried too deep: System Settings > Font Settings > Window Title (choose your point size)), the border size, and the size of the buttons on the border.

The border size can be found here: System Settings > Desktop Appearance > Window Decorations. In the lower right corner of the window is "Border Size." Tiny might be a good choice.

The button size is in the same Desktop Appearance > Window Decorations. In your general selected Window Decoration (possibly Breeze or Maui?), there is a small unnamed button in the lower left corner. Click it and you will be able to find Button Size. Tiny might be a good choice here, too.

Yep, it's buried. I do wish they would label that small button.

Wow, an unlabeled button. How dumb. I had already tried changing the title font and border size but neither reduced the size of the title bar. I searched everywhere for the button setting and would never have found it without your help. I didn't even realise that little square WAS a button! Finally, my windows look respectable again and not like something a preschooler would use. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.